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The Black Thread

from Utburd by Michael Bell

/

lyrics

He took his time. First I raged, then begged, then bargained. Finally I wept. Through it all the wall grew higher. He looked at me only once, through a space into which he would place the last brick. Then it was dark, and I was alone. I heard his shoes click against the floor, faintly, as he walked away, and then a silence so complete my ears roared with it. It was then I began to scream.

My death did not come soon, and it was not gentle. You may think you can imagine it, but you cannot, and I cannot tell you, but in time it was again silent, and for a time beyond that I lingered, there in the stillness. I cannot tell you for how long, but then, with a little push, I shook myself out of the crumpled heap of skin and bone and hair that I had been. I was free. The stone and brick was as thin as a gas, and I traveled as thought.

He was easy to find, for he had bound us together with a black thread, and I followed to where he lay in his sheets, sleeping alone. He felt me there, and stirred. I reached into his dreams. I made them wet and red and full of teeth, and he woke gasping, staring into the dark around him, clutching at himself. I came in close, whispering his name, reaching into him to wrap his fluttering heart in ice. Through all his sleepless nights, I told him, through all his waking nightmares, I would be there.

credits

from Utburd, released October 29, 2023

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Michael Bell Bellingham, Washington

A Loose-Fish and a Fast-Fish, too.

Some of this is music for video games. The rest is a fairly raw document of my ongoing attempt to find something new among the blinking lights in my studio at home.

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