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The Utburd

from Utburd by Michael Bell

/

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The snow was falling lightly from a low gray sky the morning they took me outside. I could yet taste milk when they scratched a shallow hole in the frosted earth and laid me into it. They were not ungentle, but they took the blanket with them when they walked back down through the trees. I stared up into the drifting snow and listened to their soft weeping grow fainter until there was only the silent sky. I grew cold, and for awhile my body shook, but then I was still.

The bright winter stars wheeled. I was still, but I did not sleep, and in my endless waking my body became cold stone. I gathered the hard night into me, and in dark I was reborn. Then I could move, and I rose from the ground, insubstantial, a freezing fog, but tall as a hill, strong as river ice.

In the distance, their fire glowed through the cracks in their shutters, they with their thick blankets, their bowls of soft grain, the animals snoring on the straw beside them. I moved toward the light, and trees cracked and splintered before me. In the gale of my howling all light went out.

credits

from Utburd, released October 29, 2023

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Michael Bell Bellingham, Washington

A Loose-Fish and a Fast-Fish, too.

Some of this is music for video games. The rest is a fairly raw document of my ongoing attempt to find something new among the blinking lights in my studio at home.

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