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Unfixed

from Symbiogenesis by Michael Bell

/

lyrics

In time, the wan light filtering through the skylight took on a thick, liquid quality. Motes of dust hung suspended in it, as unmoving as insects in amber. The woman could not remember having woken, or having slept. It had always been late afternoon, and she had always been in the house, alone.

She herself felt both fixed and unfixed. Sometimes she rushed through the house, pulling out drawers and upending furniture, searching for some lost thing she could not remember, and then she stopped for long vague moments, sitting on the floor among scattered clothes and cushions.

Through her living room window, the driveways and lawns of the street outside the house looked like grainy video, blank houses under a blank sky crossed with wire. Occasionally a shimmering shadow crossed her view, emitting a distant buzzing, like a voice in a dropped phone.

The wan light of late afternoon descended from the skylight. The dust hung suspended in it. The woman could not remember having woken, or having slept. It had always been late afternoon, and she had always been in the house, alone.

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from Symbiogenesis, released August 17, 2023

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Michael Bell Bellingham, Washington

A Loose-Fish and a Fast-Fish, too.

Some of this is music for video games. The rest is a fairly raw document of my ongoing attempt to find something new among the blinking lights in my studio at home.

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